Detox Day 1

As soon as my stetcher arrived, I was overcome with nerves, however, at peace with my choice to go. I was hoping that the EMTS would talk to me, small talk, jokes, a boring conversation, anything to keep my mind off of what was really happening. But, no, the young woman who sat next to me in the back of the ambulance said nothing. So, I layed there, nervous, scared, not knowing what to expect, but accepting my decision. When we arrived at the detox center, I was wheeled in and took everything in. I saw a young, heavyset girl with blue hair, who was clearly in some sort of drugged up state.  My first thought was that they were checking me into the psych ward, and not detox at all.  Pictures of m e being restrained flashed through my head. I was never getting out of this place I thought.  They needed to take my vitals, but i had to ask- I am in here for detox, right? They weren't sure but they would check my records.  Vitals taken, I was shocked at my surroundings.  No one was very friendly, everyone looked pretty drugged up.  Finally a nice nurse told me it was time for a strip search- WTF? My biggest fear after getting a dui was going to jail and getting stripped searched. Not something I could handle. I kept thinking, thank god I didnt know about this or I would not have agreed to come here! Now, I knew there was so chance, so I remained calm.  And this strip search merely consisted of me changing in front of 2 female nurses.  No cavity searches, if you will.  Thank God.  The nurses went on to tell me that we had a lot to go over, and I asked if I could please call home first. I expected a strict no, but they said sure and I called and it calmed me.  I was happy to know that I could make the phone call when I wanted.  I had some freedom I guess.  Now, the second most important question- Can I please have something to help me sleep. Yes, you can, as soon as we finish the intake questions, we will get you some meds.  THANK YOU!!!!! My mind was at ease.  Questions answered, vitals taken, doctor visit, and to the meds.

I decide to make my presence known prior to getting my sleeping aid, and I go over to the magazine rack to see whats there. I bump into roomie number one from the hospital and am happy to see a familiar face.  I quickly say hey, didn't we share a room at the hospital. The nurses get worried we know each other and we quickly explain the situation. I was so happy to see her, because she was easy to talk to. I knew there was at least one person there I could go to.  I started to feel a little more comfortable with the idea of spending the week there.  After some mingling time, trying to make myself look like I am not scared, look like I have done detox before- look tough,  I decide it is time to go to bed. I get my  adavain loved it.  trazadone- loved it. The combo of the 2 hit me pretty hard on day 1, considering I was pretty drunk already anyways.  Within 10 minutes I realize why the walls are plastered with signs leading you towards emergency buttons in case you fall. I feel like I can't walk straight, and I get right into bed and pass out.  Weird dreams fill my mind. Dreams of the people I saw throughout the day, of the place where I was sleeping.  Dreams that perplex you about whether you are dreaming or still awake. Vivid dreams. I love these dreams.